Family Is All About Communication And Compromise!!

How often does a family communicate?  Do one talk only about his or her everyday experiences and  couldn't care less about each other?  Or just simple hey what’s up? I’m ok.. end of discussion..  or worst, none?

Many families that I know and do believed are experiencing lack of communication, although they all live together but they don’t often talk to each other.

My oh my! Under one same roof and no communication at all? How does this happen?  Are they invisible to each other, or they just don’t know how to speak up and open a communication?  For a kid having this family is not healthy for him or her as a matter of fact. I myself have been through just communication breakdown during my childhood years but thank god that I found my path and make things work out with the help of close relatives and friends to guide me alone the way.

It is often that one become hesitant to talk about his or her problems for example in school; when he or she has a failing grade and the parents are needed to talk to the principal for their child’s performance.  Teenagers however, may no longer ask for the parent’s attention and rather just seek it to their friends. One may be lucky enough to have good friends around them or badly as he or she could be involved with alcohol, tobacco and/or illegal drugs. 

There is a saying in Chinese that "Should one learn to be influence by the wrong party, it does not take a foreign land to do so!"

It is important to keep the lines of communication open in a family. I know that it is easier said than done but we all take things for granted like "Hei you are not talking to me why should I and so forth" Man if you have such mentality please all I can say is that upon your regrets its going to be too late and pointless to weep over a spilled milk for that matters. Put down your ego and be the smart one to initiate it! Don't assume just do it! Mistakes are made and its normal as long as you don't give up should one way failed and never ever give the excuse that "Oh...I do not have the time and so!" If that is the case then you are setting some other objectives in life which is more important than your family itself. 

Start a good communication on the dining table.  Eating dinner together is the best time and place to communicate and reconnect to each other.  You can talk about each others’ favorite part or biggest challenge of the day.  Or maybe you can make it something playful like “If you would be any super hero, what would you be and why? “.. which could only work for kids below 12 ( imagine if you asked that to your teenage kid ).  And when it comes to teenagers, it will be a little bit hard for you to talk to them especially on the boyfriend/girlfriend issue.  But just let them know that you’re always there to listen and ready to help them on their problems.

Good communication skills in a family may build self-esteem, because a child learns of his capabilities from what his family tells him of himself.  But not in a way that you’ll give comments like “you’re good”, “you’re wonderful”, “you’re perfect”.. and don’t say he’s perfect because he might just answer you back like “isn’t it, nobody’s perfect?” ( children are much intelligent these days ).  Rather, be a nurturing parent, which build self confidence and point out his skills and strengths that will make him aware of his worth.

Your relationship with your family will be stronger if you start opening a good communication today and best yet you might not even realize it at that point. Once you do I guarantee that you will be a Happy Go Lucky Kinda Chap like me! :) 

So Don't Wait....Just Communicate! @_@

Misunderstanding.....Yet Can't Talk About It @_@

When a person feels that he/she has a problem with a long-term friend or friendship, why does that individual or both not simply sit down and work it out? Why does one prefer to let the friendship die instead of trying to repair it? How can one just turn back after so many years? It seems to me that some people only remain friends as long as everything is picture perfect. As soon as a problem arises, they cut and run. Why are we such cowards? The beauty in life itself which includes friendship are the ups and downs and not just picture perfect after all Life Is Not Suppose To Be Boring..... 

Like any other relationship, friendships are rarely perfect cause "Nothing Is Perfect!". Friends make seamless accommodations to one another all the time. But when larger issues or conflicts arise, they can suddenly create a wedge between two people. Perhaps, it's something one friend said or did that hurt the other person, or something she didn't say or do when she should have. Given the many myths associated with female friendships, it's easy to hold close friends up to unrealistic standards, and to feel disappointed or betrayed when they don't measure up.

 

So why don't friends just talk about it? 

• Some are afraid of dealing with a conflict or disagreement, even at the risk of losing a good friend.

• Some don't know how to broach an uncomfortable subject because they lack self-confidence or experience resolving friendship problems. It may feel easier to avoid the problem and ditch the friend.

• Some decide, rightly or wrongly, that a friendship is irreparable. Perhaps, words were exchanged that were so hurtful that they can't be taken back or undone. Or perhaps, things were building up for some time and this was the proverbial last straw.

 

More times than not, problems between friends can be resolved with open and honest communication. Think about it: There is usually much more to be gained than lost by trying to resolve a misunderstanding and if it doesn't work out, you are no worse off for trying.

The deterioration of a longtime friendship is extraordinarily painful---especially, when someone is dumped, ignored and the decision has been so one-sided.

Misunderstandings are common among friends---a better measure of a friendship is how often these occur and how we get over them. Two friends need to be able to communicate to get over the inevitable rough spots. Having a long shared history ordinarily provides a foundation of trust that makes it easier to clear up relatively minor misunderstandings. This can be more difficult when someone is very upset and has recently experienced trauma or loss, as your friend did when a love ones was diagnosed with a potentially fatal disease.

 

One should have no reason to feel guilty or ashamed. Although this doesn't make the hurt any less painful, situations like this are not unusual and you need to reach closure on your own by continuing to build other solid friendships.

AFTER ALL.....LIFE STILL GOES ON BE OR BE IT WITHOUT IT! @_@

Being Alone......Well its not that bad after all! @_@

If you're reading this you're probably really bored and, at the moment, have no one to be with. @_@ 

Whether you long for a boyfriend or girlfriend, or miss your family and friends, this guide which I do hope can help you cope with living alone as I have been in that situation from time to time! Keep in mind that humans are indeed social animals, but that doesn't mean that we can't be perfectly happy outside of society too. 

Things  you will need! 

• A positive attitude
• An open mind
• An explorer's heart
• Courage
• Will
• Persistence
• Cash, in some cases
• Above all love who you are ( After all if you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else! )

Few Suggestions and Steps!

Be happy. 

Live a life of optimism. Happiness comes from within regardless of your situation, so don’t use any excuses, such as being alone.

Do everything you would normally do with a partner or friend. 

Many times it isn't the partner or friend you are missing, but the activities and hobbies you shared. Take yourself out for a date. For example, if you would have gone out to dinner or to a movie on a date, then take yourself out to a movie or to a nice restaurant. Don't hold yourself back.

Learn something new.

• Learning is the most important aspect of living alone. It helps to keep the boogeyman away, and also gives you something to talk about when you do have to actually enter society.
• Learning is also incredibly more efficient when you don't have social responsibilities like family to take care of, or a girlfriend or boyfriend to entertain.
• Learning isn't just exclusive to books (although they are a great source of knowledge). You can learn to do anything by just practicing. Enrolling in classes is fun and also helps with the social life - you will meet new people in your classes. If you're not so much into the meeting people, the Internet is a great way to learn pretty much everything (That's what this site's for!).
• Consider learning: Indoor Activities: A Foreign Language, Painting, Yoga, Mathematics, Science, Art Appreciation, A Musical Instrument such as piano or flute. Outdoor Activities: Gardening,Fencing, Tennis, Golf. Or Combination - things you can do indoors and out: Photography, Drawing.

Get a pet.

• Humans need affection, without it they become bitter and hate the world around them. Pets are always a source of affection and will give loads of it endlessly.
• Pets also provide someone to talk to. No, it's not weird that you talk to your pet, it's weird if you don't. Just be cautious that your pet doesn't talk back. If so, seek professional help.
• If you are aloof and self-sufficient, tropical fish, hamsters, budgies or finches are great choices. If you like a little interaction, but not a lot of maintenance, try a cat. If you want to be very hands-on, spend lots of time and get lots of feedback, a dog is for you.

Join an on-line community. (Yeah....Facebook!)

• Don't limit your on-line activities to just games. Join forums or chat rooms to meet new people also. Take whatever you're interested in and find other people like you.

Think. Be introspective. Contemplate or ponder things.

• Above all, contemplation is one of the most important self-building things you can do. Think about what makes you you. What do you believe in? Why? Are there any things that don't seem right to you? What do you believe at face value (or accept as a matter of faith)?
• Philosophy is a great way to improve your thinking and reasoning skills. It will give you interesting topics that will stretch and bend your brain to help you understand your view of reality. Keep in mind that just because someone believes in something it doesn't mean you have to if you don't like it.
• Philosophers: Socrates, Plato, Nietzsche, Descarte, Aristotle, Kant, Rand, Marx
• Don't over-analyse things independent of you. It is easy to read-into experiences, feelings, thoughts, and attitudes of others and make judgements that are really founded on nothing more than your own naive perception. This can quickly become a negative activity and get you down. Realize that you don't have all the facts and that's OK.

Exercise. (Hmm...when will I start :P)

• Now is the time to get that body you've always wanted. Instead of just pigging out on junk food and sitting in front of the TV all night, do some push-ups or sit-ups.
• Rediscover the fun to be had in simple exercises. Riding a bike around your neighborhood becomes less work and more fun as you do it.
• Be consistent. Exercise takes willpower and diligence. Make a schedule and stick to it. Keep it easy at first and you will discover your limits. Or, join a gym and create new friends there.

Listen to lots of music. 

If you are a music fan then you can enjoy being alone by listening to music you enjoy or music that brings back memories of certain events.

Go outside. 

It's a big world out there, and you're only seeing a small fraction of it. Forget the people, just enjoy what life has to offer. Once you do that, then people will want to know and be with you. Frankly, you won't have a choice but to have friends!

Spicy Dicey Carrot Kueh! @_@

 

Intro

My grandma (Granny Ah Ngo) used to make a carrot cake similar to this when I was a child. She would use it as a children's birthday cake (without the ginger) and decorate them beautifully. Children just love this spiced carrot cake.!! It is also a great cake for picnics and tea parties, as a tea cake. This is a very simple recipe, with very simple ingredients.

Info

• Prep: ~30 mins.
• Cook: 30 mins. - 1 hr.
• Serves: 12

Ingredients

• 2 cups Plain Flour
• 1 cup Sugar (I use raw sugar, but any sugar is fine)
• 2 Tbsp Baking Powder
• 1/2 Tbsp Ground Ginger
• 1/2 Tbsp Ground Nutmeg
• 1 - 2 cups Grated Carrot ( 1 medium-large carrot is what I used)
• 1/2 Tbsp Vanilla Esscence
• 2 Eggs
• 2 pots (4 tbsp) Natural Yogurt
• 1/2 cup Milk
• 1/2 cup Vegetable Oil

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View the slideshow of all steps or jump in below.

Step 1

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Grease and flour the pan. I always do this first, as it gets the annoying stuff out of the way and leaves you with good, fun cooking time.

Step 2

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Mix the dry ingredients together in a bowl. Flour, sugar, baking powder, ground ginger, and ground nutmeg (in my case vanilla essence).

Step 3

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Add the grated carrot to the dry mixture and mix in well. This allows the flour to stick to the carrot and soak up any unwanted moisture. .

Step 4

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Mix the wet ingredients together in a different bowl. Eggs, milk, yogurt, and oil..

Step 5

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Mix the two mixtures together, until smooth..

Step 6

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Pour the mixture into the prepared pan. (round, square, rectangle, whatever). And level the mixture evenly..

Step 7

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Bake for about 45mins - 1hr or until golden brown, on a moderate temperature setting, about 180C or 356 degrees Fahrenheit (my oven doesn’t have temperature settings, the joy of living in Egypt….).

Step 8

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Allow to cool for 5-10mins. Plate and decorate your spiced carrot cake as desired… I used icing sugar mixed with ground ginger. Another good idea is whipped cream or a cream-cheese based icing. Enjoy :).

Enjoy enjoy.....Yummy yum yum....SPICY! @_@

Communication Breakdown and Ways to Resolve!

As an employee, I seriously believed that in all organization, one of the major threat to them would be "Communication Breakdown". Someone once said that "communication is the lifeblood of an organization" - and it truly is I reckon. An organization that is experiencing a breakdown in communication will not live for very long because many problems will crop up and eventually cause the organization to die a natural death to which I would like to term it as "SILENT KILLER".



If an organization is experiencing communication problems, one must do what each of us can to resolve these as soon as possible. The life of an organization is at stake.
Now the question that arise to some would include "How do you know if your organization is experiencing communication problems?" 


Here are 12 possible signs that one should look out for which I basically based it from my standing point. These however are not limited as such subject matter is diverse to tap into:


1) You find it hard to get some people to cooperate
2) Some people are being left out of the communication loop.
3) Replies to messages are being delayed or completely ignored.
4) Groups in the organization are failing to reach their goals.
5) Mistakes are cropping up more and more often.
6) People are resorting more to criticism and placing the blame on other people.
7) Morale of teams is going down.
8) Productivity is dull or at zero level.
9) You receive many complaints.
10) Moments of conflict result in expressions of anger.
11) There is significant employee turnover.
12) Business is going to your competitors instead of to you.


If you find that there are some or many (if not all) of these warning signs present in your organization, it is advisable for you to take steps to address such problems before they kill your organization.
How does one correct or resolve such problems? There are different steps to take to counter the prevalence of communication problems in organizations.


1) First, listen to the people involved or who have caused the communication problem in the first place. Doing so allows you to uncover the depth, nature and roots of the communication problem for that particular group of people.


2) If the problems are quite vast and have deeply-rooted causes, you may want to secure the help of a neutral negotiator. This third party may be able to get inside the problem more thoroughly than an insider because when communication problems crop up, the group involved may choose to clam up or point fingers rather than admit to their role in creating the problem.


3) To maintain confidentiality, it is possible to use a
tool such as a survey. People who might be scared to tell the truth because of reprisals would then have another safer option compared to coming out of the crowd.


4) After you have uncovered the problem and its roots, you may choose to initiate group counseling or training. The point of this is to address the problem of the group, rather than focusing on just one person. Finger-pointing is avoided. The saying "united we stand, divided we fall" should become the motto of the group.


5) It is important for the leader to have great communication skills so that communication problems can be resolved. Communication skills are required to diagnose communication problems, and naturally, provide the necessary solutions. Leaders who lack adequate communication skills might benefit from more training in communication.


6) Do your research - perhaps the communication problem you are experiencing now has occurred before in the history of the organization. And perhaps someone knows the solution that could work now. So look inwards into the heart of the organization, ask around, and you may find the way to properly address your organization's communication problems.


Remember, if an organization is already suffering communication problems, don't wait for these symptoms to get worse. Good communication is necessary for an organization to function properly and stay viable amidst the influx of a multitude of challenges from the environment. Act immediately on communication problems and stem the bleeding of your organization.

My favorite Chinese restaurant has a sign that says "No MSG." What is MSG? Is it bad for you?

Monosodium glutamate (MSG) is a flavor enhancer commonly added to Chinese food, canned vegetables, soups and processed meats. Although the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has classified MSG as a food ingredient that's "generally recognized as safe," the use of MSG remains controversial. For this reason, when MSG is added to food, the FDA requires that it be listed on the label.
MSG has been used as a food additive for decades. Over the years, the FDA has received many anecdotal reports of adverse reactions to foods containing MSG. These reactions — known as MSG symptom complex — include:

• Headache
• Flushing
• Sweating
• Facial pressure or tightness
• Numbness, tingling or burning in face, neck and other areas
• Rapid, fluttering heartbeats (heart palpitations)
• Chest pain
• Nausea
• Weakness

However, researchers have found no definitive evidence of a link between MSG and these symptoms. Researchers acknowledge, though, that a small percentage of people may have short-term reactions to MSG. Symptoms are usually mild and don't require treatment. The only way to prevent a reaction is to avoid foods containing MSG.

Food For Your Loved Ones Brings a Smile To The Tummy ^_^

When I was a kid I assumed that cinnamon was the opposite of mint. I had reasoned that this was a basic and irrefutable rule of the universe. Cinnamon possessed heat through spice as obviously evidenced via Red Hots candies and the warm sensation and flavor cinnamon imbued when I sprinkled it over applesauce or oatmeal. It made logical sense that the heat of cinnamon was therefore the opposite of the chill inducing mint. 

Simply put: cinnamon = hot.@_@

Now, as an adult (as in young adult :) ), I find it to be an intriguing trick of the mind to make cinnamon ice cream. A chilly treat with a fragrant, spicy glow that sort of buries itself in your stomach and fans embers through your body. Hot and cold all wrapped up into one frozen scoop. This ice cream is a wonderful alternative to vanilla when served with pie, cake, or stewed or fresh fruit.

Cinnamon Ice Cream Recipe

Ingredients

• 2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon ( yummy spice )
• 1 cup of whole milk
• 3/4 cup of sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt
• 2 cups of heavy cream
• 6 egg yolks

Method

1 Place the cinnamon in a small, dry skillet, over low heat. Keep the skillet moving just until the cinnamon becomes fragrant. Take off heat (note that too long in the pan will burn the cinnamon).


2 Warm the milk, sugar, salt and cinnamon and 1 cup of the cream in a medium saucepan over medium heat whisking to incorporate the cinnamon into the liquid.

3 While the milk mixture warms set a bowl over another bowl filled with ice. Place the remaining cup of cream into the now chilling bowl and set a mesh strainer on top.



4 In a separate bowl whisk together the egg yolks. Slowly pour the warm milk mixture into the egg yolks, whisking constantly to avoid the eggs scrambling. Pour the mixture back into the saucepan.



5 Stir the mixture constantly over medium heat with a wooden spoon or heat proof spatula, scraping the bottom as you stir. When the custard becomes thick until the mixture thickens and coats the spoon so that you can run your finger across the coating and have the coating not run.

6 Pour the custard through the strainer into the cream. Stir until cool over the ice bath.

7 Chill the mixture thoroughly and then place in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer's instructions.

Makes approximately 1 quart.

Here you go!

10 Ways on How to Help Your Child Cope Up With Stress!

One
Recognize that children handle stress in different ways. Some show a regression in behavior – acting younger, more fearful, clingier. Outbursts of anger and aggression are also signals at all ages. A child or teen who withdraws or who seems constantly sad or has trouble sleeping or shows significant changes in appetite may also be showing signs of stress.

Two
Encourage conversation. Look for opportunities to ask about feelings and opinions. Some of the best conversations happen in a car with the radio, CD player and cell phone off.


Three
Think about your own reactions – are you feeling very stressed and is that being communicated to children? Find ways to relax yourself so that you can stay calm for them.


Four
Look for creative ways to deal with stress. For younger children, puppets may help them act out their feelings. Teens could be encouraged to write their thoughts in a journal or diary. Reading books together not only provides valuable family time, but also gives everyone a deeper understanding of world events. Realizing how a character (real or fictional) coped with a disaster, war or difficulty can give lessons that can be emulated.

Five
Plan for some exercise or sports activities that can be done together to release tension. From walking to swimming, biking or skating, getting everyone to move more makes a big difference in mental outlook as well.

Six 
Volunteer together or take a stand together. Look for opportunities in the community in which you can make a difference. Being able to contribute also helps your family or group to bond and understand what your family’s and/or group’s values are.


Seven
Try to acknowledge how a child may feel. Taking a child’s or teen’s concerns seriously, rather than minimizing them, builds a foundation for more open communication.


Eight
Answer questions honestly, and share what is age appropriate.

Nine
Don’t make a promise that you can’t keep. You can’t tell your child that a natural disaster or terrorist attack will never affect your family or group. You can say that the chances are very small and that you will do whatever you can to keep everyone safe.


Ten

Keep tabs on what children are viewing and hearing – at home and at school. Know when to pull the plug on TV, and radio.

How To Make You Bedroom Unique!

If you are tired of your room looking the same as anyone else's, check this out!. Such simple guide will make your friends green with envy.
Best yet it ain't ROCKET SCIENCE! @_@

a) Don't go out and buy things just yet. Chances are you probably already have tons of stuffs
that you can use.

b) If you can't decide on a theme, you can use mini themes throughout the room. For
example, you can devote your desk to the beach and one of your shelves to the Orient.

c) Do you have a bulletin board? Try stretching over it and stapling the edges of the fabric to
the back of the board. Now you have a personalized bulletin board! How simple is that
right?

d) If you have photos but no frames, and no scrapbook, you can buy CD wallpaper. Basically its
a CD holder you hang on your wall. You can use it to show off photos, stamps, CD's, tickets
or anything else you can think of. Once I collected a bunch of CD's that had differently
colored backs ( the part you're not supposed to touch) and displayed them there. It made a
really cool effect. :)

e) Hand up some memorabilia. Don't know what that is? Simple just GOOGLE it since your
online! Lolz.....

f) If you have a bunk bed, maybe get an expo marker and write all over it. ( I have seen a
friend did it and it looks awesome. Write random stuffs like emotions, your fave songs,
lyrics....anything random basically or you can even considered drawing little things like
weather, faces, words, names for children. Be creative!

g) Buy or get some canvas and paint cos its time to bring out the inner child in you. You don't
have to be an artist but just pick 3 favorite colors, and paint something abstract. Close your
eyes and finger paint. Be Messy and Have Fun.......News paper is a good idea! :)

h) Hang things up differently. Hang stuffs up lopsided or upside down. Don't go crazy tho!

i) Does the sun come through your window in the afternoon? Hang up little things that catches
the light in you room or even stained glass your window.

Don't work too hard, you don't have to push all the work into a short space of time....
Unless you just want to tire yourself out!

Living Life Fully

Life with fixed routine can be bored. Everything is so mechanical and predictable.


Watch television less. Too much of the tube feeds boredom and restlessness. Set aside evenings away from the television set to go to a movie, play tennis, or be with friends.

Take a break from daily routine. Hire a baby-sitter, for example, and go lunch with your friends of yours or go shopping for bargains. Go out to dinner with your hus­band and leave your daily routine behind for a while.

Keep in touch with your friends and relatives. Every­body needs human contact. Invite a neighbor of yours for coffee, or call up a friend whom you have not recent­ly heard from. Who knows? Your friends or loved ones might have more interesting ideas for a fun weekend or summer vacation you can all attend to

Communicate. At work, find friends among co-workers and give your­self breaks to chat with them or invite them to your home for dinner.

Read and explore. If you enjoy reading, read more. You will find new atti­tudes and new possibilities for your life with different reading materials including magazines, encyclopedias, novels, and newspapers.

Do not be afraid to make changes. Whenever possible, change your routine. Do your Thurs­day chores on Wednesday - and vice versa. And while you are busy at your tasks, listen to music or dance around. It will surely brighten up your day.

Give yourself a "private hour" each day to do only what you want. Read, re-do your hair, polish your nails or simply sit quietly and relax.

Try to see the funny side of life. Read funny comics, watch comedy shows, or play with children. Laughter is the best tonic for boredom. The more you laugh, the less bored you will be.